Monday, October 22, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
My friend and I really worked it out. I get where she was coming from and I think she accepts that I'm trying to learn, not act like I know it all. I like when things are resolved, makes me feel better. Plus I hate fighting, my emotions are so heightened when I am sick ;/ . I'm still super proud of myself for walking away, we worked it out and I did not blow up. Update, still feel like crap and I'm sleepy.
I can't even deal right now! I am in so much pain and this is random but I hate being so sensitive. I wish I just didn't care. I feel like I'm breaking right now and I just miss my mom. She's always traveling and I don't feel like going all the way to u of m to see my doctor and all of this is not okay. I'm behind in school, I hate missing work and I am just sad. Whew. Not okay.
It is so hard. I literally am having the hardest time understanding things. I haven't read a book in so long because when I read things they don't stick with me and don't make sense. My muscles hurt and I had to pull out my walker. My favorite time of the year is also the hardest. I want to be independent and do things but it's so hard sometimes. I don't want to be tested anymore for school, it stresses me out and makes me sad. I want to sleep like all the time. Man. Been a bad few days. Also I felt really attacked by someone I thought was a friend and that really hurts my feelings. I'm not trying to be a baby but I don't understand why it happened. My natural response to someone being rude is to cuss them out. It's tacky and rude and I am working on it, but that's what I want to do. I get mad and I hate feeling embarrassed, but I had enough respect for this friend to hold my tongue. I wanted to be as big of a brat as she was being to me but I decided this was not the time or place. I'm 19. I don't want to put other people's ideas down and attack the manor in which they decide to...vent. It is so hard being the bigger person. I have found that out in the last year. I want to be the person who gets the last word and makes the person realize they are wrong, but really who is wrong? Neither of us? both? I don't know. All part of growing up I guess. I have been pleased with myself in the ways I have been responding to opposition in the last year and here's why. I edited myself, I have calmly stated my side, and I have respectfully disagreed. The hardest thing of all....I have walked away. Man is that difficult for a leo like myself! Ugh. But practice what you preach and all that jazz. I want to be successful in life and set a good example for my future kids, and giving people a tongue licking left and right does nothing. One thing I am not is a coward. I will always stand up for what I believe, but I am also a human and I make mistakes all the time. I am willing to learn. Recognizing that you are strong and weak, right and wrong, knowledgeable and just ignorant...these allow you to be confident and willing to learn. I think that's why it hurts my feelings when people, especially friends don't give me the same curtsey. It's probably because we are all so passionate and that is awesome! Some of us actually live the things we discuss (like my friend) and feel like we know everything about the subject more than others. But man oh man you have GOT to let there be room for opposing views, or at least people who question what you say. We all just want to feel respected and that is all. I think twitter just intensifies all of our feelings too because it is so instant. It is harder to remain edited when the send button is right there. Sigh, oh our generation.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Mary told me about Felicity a few years ago.
I love it. I love NYC so much, I hope she stays! She is very kind and has really nice eyebrows. That's what I've gathered so far.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
I am so blessed to have the parents I have.
Words can not describe all they do for me. I just randomly feel super appreciative. Amazing people they are.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Another Elle Fanning Appreciation Post
She is such an amazing actress, I am so excited to see how her career develops. And her personal style is so impeccable. She doesn't try to dress older than she is, like ver. She inspires many with her vintage and modest looks.
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